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How to Ask a Girl Out

By on July 15, 2014

Since the beginning of time, asking a girl out has been one of the most nerve racking things on the planet. It leaves guys sweating, shaking, and panting- and for what? It shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Women aren’t crazy aliens from another planet with oversized sharp teeth that can chew through a human’s skull or fire breathing powers that could take down the nation. Yes, we are a little intimidating at times, but if you handle the situation correctly there shouldn’t be any reason why you won’t land the date. Follow these simple tricks and tips to take the edge off and get the date!



1. Get To Know Her First

We’ve all seen those people at the dinner table, sitting there as awkwardly as possible as they sip their wine hardly saying a word. We can only assume this happened for the simple fact that the two people didn’t know each other first, and nothing says ‘awkward date’ like to random individuals that don’t know each other well trying to have a good time. That’s why it is imperative to get to know the girl before you ask her out on a serious date.


  • Call her or text her often.
  • If you have the same class or work at the same location, try to talk to her as much as possible while you’re there.
  • Hang out in group settings with other mutual friends, but pay closer attention to her.

2. Is She Interested?

There are many different ways to tell when a girl is interested. We will give you just a few examples of the ways girls show their interest:

  • They smile at you a lot- more than other people.
  • They flirt with you often and give you compliments.
  • Makes eye contact and pays attention to what you are talking about.
  • She touches your arm or accidentally bumps into you often.
  • She wants to get to know you.

3. Joke About It

One of the ways to gage her interest is to joke about having a relationship. For instance, you could say something like, “Wow, we’d make a really great couple”. If she tries to change the subject or acts awkward immediately after you say it, then she might not be interested. But if she giggles and says something like “Yeah, we totally would”, you can take that as a cue she likes you and likes the idea of you two being together in the future.

4. Make Sure She is Single

One way to definitely get a solid “NO” when you ask a lady out is to ask her when she’s already taken (obviously). Before you event think about the how and the when, you need to first make sure she is completely single and ready to mingle. Has she mentioned any guys while the two of you were talking? Have you ever seen her with a man? Is it the same guy time after time? If you haven’t seen her with a man and she hasn’t said anything, still ask to make sure. Don’t make it obvious- just casually, during conversation, ask her if she’s single or when her LAST relationship was.

5. Do It Over a Text Message

This is probably our least favorite way of being asked out, but if you are a super nervous guy then this may be your only option. Texting just makes everything easier, and if she ends up rejecting you, at least you won’t have to see it in person. There’s a few ways to do this:

  • Ask her out of the blue if she wants to go on a date with you Friday night.
  • During a conversation, bring it up. For instance: she’s texting about wanting to see the new Tom Cruise movie. You respond by asking her to see it with you this Saturday. Just the two of you.

6. Confidence is Key

I can’t tell you enough how important confidence is. If you walk up to this gal and your sweating, twitching, and choking on your own words, she is probably going to say NO (and probably be a little frightened of you on top of it). You need to walk and talk with absolute confidence. You need be sure of yourself and act like she is going to say yes no matter what. And when she says no, keep your head held high. She will respect that and maybe even notice that she’s made the wrong decision in telling you no!

7. Ask When She is Free

You don’t want to ask a girl out like this: “Let’s go to this new diner Friday at 7. Ok?” because she might say no, only because she has something to do at 7, like a dance class or a prior engagement with family. The conversation should go like this:

Guy: Are you free this weekend?

Girl: Oh, I’m free Friday before 5PM and all day Saturday!

Guy: Awesome! I wanted to check out that new diner. How about we go Saturday at 8?

Girl: Sure! Sounds great! See you then.

See how much better that worked out? You didn’t have to ask her out in a formal or crazy manner. You simply had to ask her when she’s free, and you gave her some control of the situation as well- and women really love that.

8. Don’t Go Overboard

Your first date should be special- but it doesn’t have to be obnoxious. After all, you don’t really know if the two of you are going to end up married with three kids. It might not work out in the long run, so there is really no need to spend thousands of dollars on the date. Nothing overly fancy- make the date fun for the both of you. Something fun and cute like a little downtown diner for dinner, or a silly movie with buttery popcorn. You could even do something out of the ordinary like a picnic at the park or going ice skating!

9. Ask Her Straight Out

There’s really no need to beat around the bush, right? If you want the girl, then ask her out. It is really that simple. Walk up to her, tell her she looks lovely, and ask her if she wants to get together this weekend (see tip number 7 above). It’s a more gutsy move then tip number 10 (which we will get to right now), but most women admire guts in a man.

10. Do It in Conversation

This is a MUCH easier way of asking a girl out. Let’s say the two of you are talking about a new restaurant that opened downtown. She heard they have the most amazing ribs and she’s a huge fan of ribs- she could practically bathe in them. You’re a big fan of ribs and all kinds of meat, so this sounds like the perfect joint for the both of you. During the conversation about this new place, you could casually say “We should go check it out together this weekend, if you want”. She will most likely reply with… “Yes of course! Can’t wait for you to see me elbows deep in ribs!” Then the two of you laugh and giggle and next thing you know you’re sharing meat and drinks at the new hip downtown restaurant. Who knows what happens from there?

11. Act Right

Asking her out is obviously the most important piece of the puzzle, but it’s also how you act after she says yes. If you are start jumping up and down or being overly excited, she might see that as a huge turn off and cancel the date. You need to act natural. Obviously yes, be happy, but don’t bombard her with “Thank you’s”. Just say “Cool!” with a smile on your face and continue with your day. She will love how clam and casual you are and won’t be frightened off.

12. Be Ready for Rejection

No matter how sure you think you might be that she likes you, there is always a chance that she will reject you. You need to be prepared for this rejection, and this is exactly where the “Confidence is Key” tip comes again into play. If she says no, there’s no need to burst into tears or be depressed about it. In fact, you have two options:

  • Accept the no and continue on with her day. Right her off as someone who wasn’t meant for you and try to find someone else you connect with. Don’t be depressed about the situation and spend days not talking to anyone or hiding out in your bedroom. Go have fun with friends and take your mind off the situation.
  • If you really think the two of you are meant to be and you simply can’t get this girl out of your head, then try again. Try a different approach to asking her out or simply give her some time to think about it. Continue complimenting her and paying attention to her to see if you can create something that is built to last. Patience and consistency can lead to something wonderful.


Simple Tips to Remember

  • Always remain confident, before, during, and after the conversation. Even if she rejects you, don’t let that beat you down. Remember there are other fish in the see, and you can always try again another time with the same lady!
  • Get to know her first. Asking a girl out too soon may not only end up in an awkward situation, but you might find out the two of you have absolutely nothing in common- which leads to one boring, uneventful date.
  • Keep all crude jokes and comments aside. You want this girl to know that you’re a man and you want to court her, a lady- not trying to get her into your bed as soon as possible. This is a major turn off!
  • Keep a smile on your face as much as possible. Not an eager creepy one, but one that says “I’m happy to talk to you” and “You put a big smile on my face without doing a single thing”.
  • Remember: if you’re too shy to ask her out in person, you can always do it over a text or phone call. It’s not as good as doing it face to face, but it takes loads of pressure off- and that might be exactly what you need.
  • Try not to plan too much ahead of time. Make sure you know when she is free or she might reject you for the simple fact that she isn’t available at the time you specified.
  • Have simple date ideas in mind, nothing extreme like leaving for the weekend or going to an all day operatic event. Make it fun for the both of you- dinners, movies, and silly dates are always a big hit with women.
  • You might want to practice asking her out with one of your girl friends or simply doing it in front of the mirror. It might sound silly, but it can really boost your confidence and get your prepared for the real thing. Ask a friend to do a test run- especially a girl. They will tell you whether you’re going to score or strike out!
  • Make sure you are well groomed before you ask this lady out. If you have smelly breath, bad body odor, or you look like you just crawled out from a pile of trash, she might reject you (for obvious reasons).
  • You might want to ask her friends if she has a mate or if she is at all interested in you. Girl friends always know who their friends are crushing on, so if you’re feeling a bit uneasy about it you can always try asking them!


See? Asking a women out on a date doesn’t have to be one of the most nerve racking events of your life. With simple planning and taking your time to get to know the girl, you’ll be whisking the woman of your dreams off into a magical date she’ll never forget.


What are some of the best ways to ask a girl out? Have you ever been rejected?

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