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How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

By on January 21, 2015

You have spent the last few days or weeks dating a girl. At some point, you need to ask her if she wants to make things official. Before you can do this, you need to figure out if she is really interested in you. More importantly, you have to decide if you want to be with her. If you are ready for a relationship, you can use these tips to learn how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend.

Before you ask her out, you really need to consider if you are ready for the next step. If you become a couple, you will either remain together forever or break up. When you are uncertain about making the next step, you can always wait. A short period of dating will not stop her from being with you in a few months or years when you are finally ready for a relationship. An immature relationship or a difficult breakup will make her end things and never look back. Do not ask a girl to be your girlfriend unless you are actually prepared to have a girlfriend. There is nothing wrong with remaining friends or being friends with benefits. Only make the next step if you are actually prepared to be her boyfriend.

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Think Private


One of the best places to ask her is during an intimate moment. Asking in public is setting yourself up for failure. If she says no, you will be left with a crowd of people watching you as you awkwardly ask for a bill. Take her out to a nice dinner or a lunch date. Afterward, take a walk under the stars or in an open area. When the moment is right, ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend. The last thing that you want to have is an audience, so try to avoid public locations at all costs.

Look Your Best

If you need to learn how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, you also need to learn how to look. You want to ask her out on a day that you look your best. Before you meet her, freshen your breath, shave and put on a good-looking outfit. This will make you more appealing to her and will also give you confidence. Being confident and assertive is extremely attractive to a girl. In addition, the extra confidence will make it easier for you to say exactly what is on your mind.

Be Prepared to Change Your Plan

No matter how perfectly you plan out the date, things can still go wrong. She may have had a terrible day at work or the meal may arrive burned. If things are not going well, be prepared to change your plan. Although your plan may need to change, it does not mean that you have to delay asking her. If the restaurant is too busy, take her on a picnic instead. The only time you should delay asking her out is if her day was terrible. When she is stressed out or feeling sick, she is less likely to tell you yes. Wait until she feels better before you try asking her out again.

Try the Casual Approach

The casual approach is also known as the five-year plan. If you are too shy to ask her out right away, try taking the time to get to know her. Although you may be stuck in the friend zone for a while, you will not remain there forever. Girls always have a period where they go for the bad guys. Once she matures, she will want to find a nice guy to be with. When that moment comes, you will be there to ask her out. Since you have already been friends for a long time, she will be able to trust you.

Get to Know Her

Girls have been warned about date rape, serial killers and stranger danger since they were just children. If she does not know you very well, she may be reluctant to start dating you. You can remedy this by getting to know her better. Once she knows who you are, she will feel more comfortable around you. If she is more comfortable around you, she will be more willing to go out with you.

To get to know her, you just need to talk to her. Get involved in her circle of friends and make conversation with her in the hallway. If you are in a group setting, it takes some of the pressure off of you. When you are unable to think of something to say, there will be other people in the group who can pick up the conversation. This technique allows you to learn who she is, what she likes and what she wants in a guy without the pressure. Altogether, it is a good dating technique for every guy. If you are especially shy, this is the best technique to use.

Have a Date in Mind

You have spent so much time boosting your confidence and preparing to ask her out. She says yes. Now what? After all of the time you spent worrying about her answer, you probably forgot to actually plan out the date. You need to have a first date in mind. At the very least, you need to be able to set a time and date. For the first date, you will normally want to choose something informal. Your entire goal is to make her feel comfortable. You want to choose a place that allows you to talk without placing too much pressure on either of you. Good first date ideas include visiting the zoo, checking out the museum or enjoying a cup of coffee. If you do not know her very well, a coffeehouse is a great place for a date. At a restaurant, you have to wait for the meal and the check if things are going badly. In a coffeehouse, you can just make up an excuse and leave if the date takes a turn for the worse.

Chat Her Up Via Text

If you already have her phone number, you have several options available. Although you may be uncomfortable with pickup lines or giving compliments, it is very easy to send them in a text. Start by sending her flirty text messages (For ideas, check out one of our articles that lists 40 flirty text messages for her). These texts will flatter her and make her smile. More importantly, a flirty text shows her that you are interested. When you finally ask the question, she will already be prepared for it.

Whenever you text her, you should be extremely careful about what you compliment. Telling her that she has beautiful eyes, a great smile or a gorgeous face are all perfect things to say. If you tell her that you want her legs wrapped around you, it could drive her away. By complimenting the sexual parts of her body, you indicate to her that you are primarily interested in sex. If you want her to be your girlfriend at some point, you cannot let her think that. Compliment safer body features and save the sexual texts for the future.

Write a Love Note

For the truly shy guy, a love note can be a romantic way to ask a girl out. Look up some poetry or love letters online. Men have wooed women through prose for thousands of years, and you can, too. You can send her love letters through the mail or slip them into her purse each day. Like a modern Cyrano de Bergerac, you can get her to fall in love with you entirely through the written word.

Watch for Warning Signs

Even though you have gone out of your way to make her comfortable, there is always a chance that you will feel paranoid around you. Your efforts at wooing her could be misinterpreted as creepy. If your love letters or flirty texts have unnerved her, you need to stop sending them. Once this occurs, you should switch to the “casual method”. This will allow you to befriend her and give her a chance to become comfortable around you again.

Just Say It

Nothing is worse than living in a state of uncertainty. Until you ask her out, you will never know if she would say yes or no. Instead of allowing yourself to worry about what she says, just ask her. The worst thing that can happen is that she says no. If you have been sending her flirty texts and reading her signals, the chances of that are fairly small.

Asking her out soon is almost always a good idea. If you are interested in this girl, she probably has qualities that would attract someone else. By waiting to ask her out, you are giving another guy a chance to date her. Unless you want to take this risk, you should just tell her how you feel. Plan out a date, set a time and ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend.

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