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How to Text a Girl You Like

By on July 8, 2014

Females are hard to talk to in person, and you might think it’s the easy way to go to start conversing via text messaging. But that’s where you’re wrong. Just because you lack the face to face communication doesn’t make the overall convo any easier- in fact, you have to be careful with how you text a girl. Text too much or say the wrong thing, all of the sudden you’re clingy or weird. Text too little and suddenly you’re simply not interested in her and she writes you off. So when she hands over her number and tells you to text her, make sure you follow these simple tips and tricks below for a winning conversation.


1. Start with a Winning Text Message

The first text message is obviously the most important. It’s your first impression, if you will. And that’s why it is so incredibly important to start out strong. How can you do this? Here’s a few simple things to keep in mind for your first text message.


  • Don’t go overboard. Keep the text message to a maximum of one sentence unless you absolutely have to make it longer. Too long of a text message is just plain annoying in 99% of situations.
  • Intrigue her. Don’t use the same old “Hey, how are you?” text message that she has already her a thousand times. Try to come up with something witty and charming. You could even use a flirty text message like, “Wow, I still can’t stop thinking about that gorgeous smile of yours.” This not only intrigues her but makes her smile at the same time, which is a double win for you.
  • Pay close attention to your grammar. Bad grammar is a huge turn off for most gals, so make sure to use the right punctuation and spell things correctly.

2. Make Her Smile

Women love it when a man can make her smile, and yes- it is totally possible through a text message. Try to tell her a really funny joke you heard or just be natural and make a silly comment about something the two of you are talking about.

Tip: Don’t try to force laughter. If it’s not coming naturally, don’t try to push it. She probably won’t laugh and you might look like an odd ball in the end.

3. Flirt With Her

This goes hand in hand with making her smile, but takes things one giant step further. Women love to be complimented and hear nice things about themselves. It’s what we thrive on, so complimenting her is an obvious text message choice.

  • It doesn’t have to be anything big. Just telling her she looked great in the red shirt she wore that day or you love her new hairstyle is enough to satisfy her.
  • Don’t go overboard with flirts. This could make her annoyed very quickly as you appear clingy and desperate, so beware!

4. Ask Her Questions

One of the best (and easiest) ways to keep a conversation going is to ask someone questions- and this works with text messages to the girl you like as well. You obviously want to get to know more about her, so questions are really the only way to go! Ask her just about anything, from the most basic questions to ones with a little bit more depth. Maybe start out by just asking her if anything interesting happened to her that day, leading up to questions about her family, her past, her career, and more. There’s literally hundreds of questions to be asked, which means hours of endless conversation awaits you. Just try to refrain from asking *TOO* personal of questions until you know her a bit better.

5. Get Naughty – When the Time is Right

If the two of you are having an incredibly good conversation and she has made it obvious she’s interested in you, you might think about making a comment that will make her think a little more R rated. I’m not saying you need to come out and tell her you want to do something involving chains and whips and chocolate syrup (DO NOT say that- or anything close to it). I simply mean making a sexy comment that will intrigue her without degrading her, offending her, or scaring her off. Try saying something along the lines of, “Wow, I wish you were here right now”, or “You have incredibly soft lips, I bet you’re a great kisser”. These types of comments ignite passion without being too creepy or weird.

6. Don’t Overdo It

Just like when two people are talking face to face, one person can’t do all the talking while the other person sits there. The both of you have to put equal input into the conversation to keep it alive.

  • If you notice she isn’t texting as much as you, you might want to end the conversation for awhile until she texts you.
  • Try to keep a good conversation rolling by including her into the conversation by asking for her input or asking questions.
  • Don’t make your text messages too long unless absolutely necessary, this can be rather annoying and she probably doesn’t want to spend 10 minutes reading your text message.
  • Don’t use too many emoticons- that’s another recipe for an annoying disaster.

7. Send Pictures

Let me make this very clear: I’m not talking about naughty pictures (unless the two of you have reached that level, of course). Pictures just make everything better, and it only takes a matter of seconds to take a snapshot or something or pull up a cool picture from your gallery. For instance, let’s say the two of you are talking about music and you mention to her that you just recently attended a really cool concert. Try sending her a picture of the concert- she’d probably LOVE to see it! Or send her a picture of your new tattoo that just so happens to be located on your bulging bicep. What lady wouldn’t love that?

8. Emoticons

We mentioned earlier that you shouldn’t go overboard with your emoticons, but that doesn’t mean that you shoulder never use them. Emoticons serve their purpose.

  • Don’t use over 5 emoticons in a single text message, and even that is the maximum amount that should ever be used (unless you’re trying to be silly and make a story using only emoticons- but we suggest you don’t do that right off the bat).
  • Use emoticons only if it’s to make your text message more clear. For instance, if you’re telling her how much you loved her new hair color, you could put an emoticon with hearts in the eyes. If you’re asking her out to a dance, use the dancing emoticon.

9. Ask Her Out

If everything is going well, why not ask her out? That is, after all, the goal of text messaging this special gal, right? Ask her to dinner, or if the two of you are talking about a certain topic – like an upcoming concert- ask her if maybe she would like to attend the concert with you. If the opportunity arrises and she seems into you, go ahead and ask her. (Not to mention asking over a text message is a million times easier than trying to ask someone out in person. Major bonus for you!)

10. Finish Strong

A good text message conversation not only starts off strong, but ends strong as well. This is your last text message. This is what is going to stick in her mind hours after the text message conversation is over. You want to end on a very good note that will keep her sitting on the edge of her seat for more. You have a few options.

  • You can be a bit mushy. Tell her how much you loved talking to her and wish you didn’t have to stop, but you really have to get back to work.
  • You can end on a good joke, like using a funny quote from a movie or reminding her of something silly the two of you were talking about earlier.
  • You could end the conversation by asking her out- not necessarily with a specific time or date, but just saying something like “Hopefully we can get together sometime”.
  • Don’t end with a long conversation. Try to keep it short and sweet so it doesn’t overwhelm her.
  • Know when to end the conversation. If the convo seems to be tapering off or she is taking longer to reply than before, these are typically cues to stop the conversation.
  • Don’t be too needy or obsessive. Just telling her “I’ll talk to you tomorrow gorgeous” is an easy way to end a conversation while letting her know you enjoyed the convo and will text her again.

The basis of a good text message conversation? A good start and a great end. It doesn’t have to be difficult! Keep her interested and show her your wit and charm. You’re only a matter of minutes away from potentially scoring a date with that special someone! Happy texting gentlemen and good luck.

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