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Why Can’t I Get a Girlfriend

By on January 21, 2015

There are many reasons why you may be unable to get a girlfriend. From finding taken girls to a lack of confidence, getting into a relationship can be difficult. Even when you have gone on a number of dates, you may be unable to transform your date into a relationship. If you want to start an actual relationship, use the following tips.

Why Can’t I Get a Girlfriend

You Lack Confidence

The number one reason why men are single is due to confidence. Girls are naturally attracted to assertive, confident men. If you do not exude confidence, she is unlikely to find you attractive. To get confident, you can either fix the way you look or go on a lot of dates. By looking better and developing muscle, you will naturally start to feel better about who you are. This will make you more assertive when you are chatting up girls. Likewise, going on a bunch of dates can be confidence boosting. If you practice asking a girl out who does not matter to you, you will be able to ask out the girl that you actually want to date.

You Have a Casual Look

If you ask the girl why she said no, she will probably say she likes you as a friend, she isn’t ready for a relationship or some other random reason. For many women, the real reason actually lies in how you look. Girls naturally want to be with a guy that they find attractive. They will never tell you this when they turn you down because it makes them sound shallow.


Even if you are not a Brad Pitt look alike, you can still get the girls. All you need to do is spend a bit of time on how you dress. Cut your hair, shower and shave. Women want someone who is clean cut. If you typically lounge around in sweats, purchase some jeans and a nice button-down shirt. If you look well-groomed and attractive, your chances of getting a girlfriend will increase exponentially.

She Thinks Your Desperate

Every girl wants to be a guy’s first choice. No one wants to be your last choice. If it seems like you have tried to ask every girl out already, she is going to turn you down. Being desperate is one of the least attractive behaviors for a guy or a girl. If you pick up her laundry, watch her nephew and drive her around, you are her doormat. These behaviors are relatively common among boyfriends. If you are not her boyfriend yet and you are already running errands, chances are that you will never be her boyfriend.

Moving Too Fast

When you start a relationship off right, everything about it will feel completely natural. Moving too fast, however, will only turn her off. If she just met you, she does not want you to hold her hand or kiss her. It will seem weird to her if a relative stranger tries to get physical. She will either be completely uncomfortable around you or she will avoid you completely. In addition, she will read into what you do. If you try to get physical with her, she could assume that you perceive her as easy. By moving too fast, you could end up driving her away from you.

You Buy Too Much

If she offers to pay on your second coffee date, you should let her. We do not live in the 1950s anymore. By buying her extravagant gifts and expensive dinners, you are only going to make her uncomfortable. There is a time and a place for every type of gift. A first anniversary is a great time to give her a diamond necklace. Giving it to her on the second date would be the worst mistake you could make. She will think that you are trying to buy her love. If your goal was to get a girlfriend, spending too much money can actually backfire.

You Don’t Buy Often Enough

Unfortunately for men, money is always an issue. You can buy too often or too little to suit a prospective girlfriend. If you always go dutch on a date, it will make the girl thing that you are penny-pinching and stingy. It could also make her thing that you only want to be friends. If you never buy her dinner, she could misinterpret as a sign that you are not interested in dating. Although you do not have to buy every meal that you have, you should pay at least part of the time.

You Look at Other Women

Women have to deal with pictures of runway models in the media. They are constantly bombarded by makeup advertisements that tell them they are not pretty enough. If you are looking at other girls, she will start to feel insecure. Checking out other women is a sign of disrespect to her and indicates that you are still playing the field. Every girl wants to be the only woman in her boyfriend’s life. If you keep checking other women out, you are not going to get a girlfriend.

You Are a Narcissist

Confidence is sexy, but being self-absorbed is not. If she cannot get a word in during the conversation, she will not want a second date. To make her like you, you should ask her about her interests. Questions your date about her hobbies, friends, goals and dreams. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. By letting her tell you who she is, you are increasing the chances that she will want to be your girlfriend. You can still share your hobbies and ambitions, but you need to make sure that she gets the same opportunity. Appearing vain or narcissistic on a first date is never a good idea.

You Complain A Lot

No one wants to be around a constant downer. There may be amusing anecdotes where you complain about your boss or an annoying neighbor, but that is where you should draw the line. Constant complaints and a whiny attitude are a gigantic turnoff. As a basic rule of thumb, remember: If it turns you off when she does it, you should not do it. You do not want to be with a girl that complains continuously, so you should not do it either. You may have a terrible boss or a needy ex-girlfriend, but she does not have to know that. Unless you are looking for a therapist or a surrogate mother, you should lay off the complaints.

It Could Be You

If none of these reasons seems right, the problem could be you. Consider how you have gone after girls in the past. Are you too needy? Do you make her feel pressured or undesirable? There could be something that you are doing that makes girls run away. In addition, there is always a chance that you are going after the wrong girls. If you like spending weekends cuddling in front of the television, going after an adventure-seeking overachiever is a terrible idea. Likewise, adrenaline junkies should probably find a girl that shares the same interests. Even if you get a girlfriend who has the opposite personality, your chances of staying together are slim. Find someone with shared interests, and your relationship will be stronger.

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